Morals in Marriage and Family Therapy

Society has drawn closer to the individualistic culture that has been evolving. An unknowing and intentionally morally neutral psycho therapeutic community has preserved the culture that shouts, “pursue the American Dream”, love yourself and leave those who do not love you, or give you what you want. In no way am I suggesting that all therapist are to take the brunt of this claim, rather I want to challenge the thinking in which the therapeutic field has taught about staying away from the obvious moral issues  clients divulge in sessions. More specifically call on the field of Marriage and Family Therapy to have more discussions about moral decisions with clients.

Why Marriage and Family Therapy Should Promote Moral Responsibility

            I believe, if Marriage and Family Therapist are to be genuine in our call for focus on the overall system of the family, we must be willing to discuss the moral issues in which our clients find themselves facing. Do what so many therapist have done in the past and stay neutral, or even worse promote the self- interest of the client solely and never discuss how their decisions or acts may affect others goes directly against what we define ourselves as family therapist.

One man’s call for a total re-evaluating of the psycho therapeutic community’s thinking and practice has gone forth with much criticism and challenges. William Doherty has laid out a claim for more moral discourse in the field and in therapy sessions (Doherty 1995). Like Doherty, I see the society becoming less focused on interpersonal relationships, and becoming a culture that embraces the focus on the “right” to be an individual at all costs. As I contemplate on the challenges that he gives, I am flooded with some of my own experiences as a counselor for adjudicated youth. Many times my clients came from broken homes and suffered abuse on many different levels. Few had what we would call healthy relationships and not many had a sense of community. If I had not been courageous enough to challenge some of their decisions by discussing moral obligations many would have harmed their family, left their children, and some  even go as far to rob others simply because they did not have and wanted.

            I do not want to come across as though everything that comes up in sessions must revert to a moral focus, but I can say that if our client wants to shed their moral obligations, such as being a father, a wife, co-worker we must not take a “no opinion” approach. I believe, through a genuine trusting professional relationship, we can have truthful dialogue with our clients. When in session with a client, we must make sure timing is correct for the challenge of morality.

Therapists have to be genuine in caring about the client and those affected by the act. Utilizing active listening skills and empathy, keeping in mind that the client must be open and feel genuinely cared about in order for the challenge concerning morals to be effective (Doherty 1995). In a society that is highly focused on the individual, we as therapists cannot stand by and ignore the sense of family and community threatened. The question arises, whose moral compass do we use. My counsel would be to always go with what you know deep inside. 

THOUGHTS?

Doherty, W. J. (1995). Soul Searching: why psychotherapy must promote moral responsibility. New York, NY: Basic Books.